Discerning a Vocation (A “Church Talk”)
John Paul Devaney, PAS ‘25

We just listened to the Biblical account of the call of St. Matthew. The TV show called “The Chosen” depicts it differently. In the show, Jesus is walking by Matthew’s tax collecting booth. Now, tax collectors were despised back then. They were hated by all and treated with respect by none. Despite this, in the show, Jesus says, “Matthew, son of Alphaeus, follow me.” To this, the surprised Matthew responds, “Me? You want me to join you?” The Apostle Peter also asks Jesus questions, them being, “Do you have any idea what this guy has done?” and, “Do you even know him?” Jesus responds with one word. Yes.

Yes, Jesus knows what Matthew has done. Yes, Jesus knows him. And Yes, Jesus wants Matthew to follow Him. In fact, Jesus knows us all. He knows all of our doubts and insecurities. He knows all of our weaknesses, flaws, and imperfections. He knows all of mine. And yet, He calls us all to Him anyway, even if we can’t always see it or don’t always know it. He calls us to be like Him.

JP Devaney at March for Life 2024

Jesus calls us through our Vocations. The word Vocation comes from the Latin verb Vocare meaning To Call. One theologian describes Vocations as, “...Where your greatest joy meets the world’s greatest need.” Generally speaking, when you hear the word Vocation, you may think of priests, monks, etc., but Vocations don’t have to be just to religious life. Your Vocation, or calling, can be to married life, to being a parent, to remaining single, or in another sense, to teaching, to being a scientist, to going pro in hockey, to singing, and so much more.

But it doesn’t matter your Vocation. What matters is being open to where it leads you because there you will find happiness and peace. St. Augustine says that, “Our hearts are restless until they rest in Him.” When God calls you, try to open your heart up to His voice. Do not be afraid to just listen. There is an easy way to tell what you are called to do. God lets us choose our future. He shows us through our wants, desires, skills, and passions who we can become, so ask yourself this question right now. Who will you become? I know who I want to become.

Every decision I have ever made has led me to this moment. Every decision I have ever made has led me here, to Portsmouth Abbey. I believe I have a Vocation, a calling, to be a Benedictine Monk here at Portsmouth Abbey for the rest of my life. It is my desire, and I believe God’s will, for me to pray, live, teach, and coach here at Portsmouth Abbey until the end of my time. Everything I find appealing in life, everything I love to do and want to be, everything that makes me who I am, is all wrapped up in the livelihood of a Benedictine Monk, especially one here at Portsmouth Abbey.

 At Mass one Sunday this summer, I was in Washington DC. I was sitting all alone in the back left of the Church I was in. It came time to sing a hymn called The Summons. This song is about listening and saying Yes to God, and I’d heard it thousands of times. However, this time was different. The second verse came around and after the first line, I froze. I stopped singing, I stopped moving my eyes, I literally could not move. I was left staring at the line, “Will you leave yourself behind if I but call your name?” It was as if a supernatural being, the God of the universe, the Lord of time and space, had frozen me in time, stopped me in my place, and told me and me alone something very beautiful.

You see, I had been wondering what my end goal in life was, my purpose, my calling. I felt inclined to religious life but was unsure if this was all I was meant to do. Many of the seniors here are going off to ROTC programs or service academies. Many of the seniors last year did the same, and there are several Veterans who have joined the ranks of our faculty. I have always wanted to serve my country, so I was at a crossroads between the military and where I was being drawn to, the religious life. Then, that line came. “Will you leave yourself behind if I but call your name?” God spoke to me through this line. What this line meant to me was that I was to come as I am, to embrace the Brotherhood, the monastic life. I have this inexplicable feeling inside of me telling me that I am to come to the Lord and serve Him here at the Abbey. I stared at this line for the rest of the hymn.

JP Devaney ’25, Abbot Michael, Malcolm Maboula ’26, Gabe Devaney ’25 at monastery reception

After Mass, I knelt down. After a while, I picked up the hymn again and I read over the entire song. I stopped at the beginning of verse 4. The first line was, “Will you love the ‘you’ you hide if I but call your name?” I had the exact same reaction as the first time. I quite literally froze, while the rest of time continued on as if nothing had happened. I know that many of you, myself included, have felt the need to suppress an aspect of what makes you who you are to maintain an image of yourself. I know that many of us do things we don’t want to do simply because we feel like it is the only way we can gain both approval and appreciation, the only way we can be liked and accepted. The line, “Will you love the ‘you’ you hide if I but call your name?” changes that for me, and I hope it does the same for you. Have the faith and courage to love who you hide because God calls your name. God wants every aspect of us to come to Him. He wants us as we are, because that’s how He made us, as we are. Know that you aren’t perfect, but you are beautiful, because you were made by beauty itself.

In that Church on that Sunday, I said Yes to my calling. Right then and there I told God that I would love to become a Benedictine Monk here at Portsmouth Abbey. I am so sure that this is what Christ wants of me. The supernatural life is real. It’s the most real thing there is. Qui Gon Gin says to, “Be mindful of the future, but not at the expense of the present.” Even if God calls me elsewhere, right now I find happiness and peace in knowing that I have hope for a beautiful life as a Monk. In the present, I am at peace because I know where I will end up. And even if I end up married with 13 kids instead, I wouldn’t trade this peace and this joy for anything in the world. I know that the Lord has us all in the palm of His hand. Assuming that this is God's plan for me, what this means for all of you is that if you ever want to come back and visit Portsmouth Abbey sometime in the next 70 or so years, I'm telling you that you have to come say hi to me. If anyone among you has any questions about Vocations or has a Vocation, please reach out to Ms. Revay, Father Michael, or myself. If anyone among you has any questions about my Vocation, talk to me. My name is JP Devaney and I would love to talk more about it with anyone, anytime, anywhere.

Now let me leave you with this: in life, you are only guaranteed two moments: Now, and the hour of our death. Life is about seeing how we will pass the time from now until our deaths. However God may be calling you, I challenge you to just say Yes, as Matthew did. God wins in the end, I can promise you that. Thank you all for your time and I hope you all have a great day.

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John Paul Devaney is a student at Portsmouth Abbey School, a member of the class of 2025. He delivered this talk at a Church Assembly for the School on October 3, 2024.