Editor's Note

April 20, 2023

My discussion with Abbot Matthew left me a sense of gratitude, his list of books a kind of gift. I had not read some of these basic texts and have The Way of a Pilgrim mapped out for myself for the Easter season, together with The Science of Christ. I was grateful as well for Br. Sixtus’ reflection on Lourdes, reminiscing about my own seven pilgrimages with Ampleforth. Those experiences have indeed been transformative for me, leaving me with a continued sense of closeness to Our Lady, and with the grace of being able to persevere, by and large, with a daily rosary. I would not have expected, upon making the trip in 2008, that fifteen years later I would be sustaining such a devotion. Is that a miracle? Perhaps one of the countless undocumented miracles and graces Lourdes pilgrimages have generated. We are slated to have a candlelight procession in mid-May, the month of Mary, modeled on the beautiful processions of Lourdes. These points of gratitude make me reflect again on the “Doubting Thomas” in each of us that Abbot Michael’s homily considers. I envision, when I read that gospel passage, that Jesus takes Thomas’ hand to His own, traces with Thomas the outlines of His wounds. What a blessed, tender rebuke. What a precious Easter grace. Imagine: to trace the wounds of the Risen Lord. Yet it occurs to me that there are other ways to be drawn to those wounds – in the depth of spiritual reading our tradition gives to us, in the care of the sick to which Our Lady of Lourdes calls us. Other ways that elicit from within us the same response: My Lord and my God.

Pax,
Blake Billings

April 14, 2023

I had the opportunity to travel to Rome for a BENET Conference in April of 2016. BENET is the Benedictine Educators Network, a part of the International Commission on Benedictine Education. My arrival for the conference coincided with Divine Mercy Sunday. It also was a special moment, as it had been declared a jubilee year – an Extraordinary Jubilee of Mercy. So, it was Mercy upon Mercy. Holy Doors were opened at Rome’s basilicas then, and I took the opportunity to pass through, marking the jubilee. This made me think of the distinctive doors, created by Dom Peter Sidler, that grace our own Abbey church. The message they proclaim could not be more beautiful: “You are no longer strangers and foreigners, but you are fellow citizens with the saints, and are of God’s household, having been built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Christ Jesus Himself being the cornerstone, in whom the whole building, being fitted together, is growing into a holy temple in the Lord, in whom you also are being built together into a dwelling of God in the Spirit.” Ephesians here distills the working of mercy – a universal mercy which I felt powerfully in Rome, where so many came together from around the world. I continue to feel that in meditating on the message, literally written into our church. I consider it again each time I pass through its doors.

Pax,
Blake Billings

April 6, 2023

It is likely I overlook the impact of living within the “circle of influence” of a monastic community. As the number of years increases, those elements I take for granted probably expand. For some, even the sight of a man wearing a monastic habit elicits a double-take. The persistence of “Fish Fridays” may surprise. The regular sounding of the church bell may for some be a quaint holdover of a former time. Walking around a campus so visibly centered on its church may catch the attention of a visitor. These are all daily life for those of us living here and may seem routine. But this week, which here we call Holy, and the Octave of Easter into which we move, highlight the centering of our lives at Portsmouth in matters spiritual, religious. One does not find them to be a supplement, an option, background noise. They rise to the surface in our schedule, our expectations, our “cultural experience.” They make their presence known – in attitude, in ambience. Something different is happening, something special, something to consider. I still remember its impact on me as a skeptical and superior sophomore. I remember and feel the impact of the events of the Triduum then, such that now it indeed marks for me the middle of the year, the center of the universe. And as we move through the prayers and liturgies that recall to us our Easter faith, I remember and rediscover this blessing. It is a timeless and infinite truth, but I am grateful to encounter it now, and here.

Pax,
Blake Billings

March 30, 2023

One of my favorite moments in Holy Week is the Eucharistic Vigil of Holy Thursday. This “Night Watch” has been repeatedly a moment of great grace. This reaches back to my Sixth Form year as a student at Portsmouth Abbey, when the vigil of adoration proved to be an occasion of conversion for me, one whose inspiration I still draw on to this day. I have been blessed with the opportunity to lead a number of our Seven Churches pilgrimages, where we join local parishes in their eucharistic vigils. We arrive with a “holy invasion” of Abbey students, pause to pray with them before the Blessed Sacrament for some time, and then continue on our way. It is a powerful experience of communion, of unity: the same Christ, adored throughout the Church. Our little local journey somehow opens the horizon of this worldwide prayer, and of the universality of Christ’s sacrifice. I marvel at how so much of this awareness for me has pivoted around that experience in 1977, in our own Church of St. Gregory the Great. As this issue reaches our readers, may it convey the message that, whether or not you are able to join us “in person” for our observances, there is a communion in which we participate, most fervently cherished during this Holy Week.

Pax,
Blake Billings