Benedictine Wisdom
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Book of reflections from
Gerrie Beebe (in the Kyrie series)
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For this month's "Benedictine Wisdom" we turn to our extended Benedictine community and listen to the voice of one of our oblates. Mrs. Gerrie Beebe has been an oblate of Portsmouth since the late 1980s. Residing on Aquidneck Island since childhood, Gerrie has long ties to the Abbey community, including being a past parent and even managing the School's Tuck Shop one year while her son (Jonathan, '91) was in attendance. She and her husband, Bob, have four children. Gerrie began to study spiritual direction a few years ago, inspired by the Spiritual Exercises of Saint Ignatius, and led to a program offered in Boston by the Sisters of Saint Joseph. Gerrie offers below a collection of reflections gathered from different days and different moments, but all centering on a reflection process that listens, as Benedict advises, "with the ear of the heart." Gerrie considers here pandemic anxieties, seeking God's guidance, discovering our authentic selves. She invites us to see in each day the miracles of God's presence and the opportunity to begin anew. These discoveries, related for her to the spiritual journey that is fundamentally the search for and the revelation of God, reflect a Benedictine spirituality attuned to the everyday, and finding the extraordinary in the ordinary.
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On anxiety
Since the pandemic, several people have spoken to me about feeling anxious about the future and how it’s almost like being on the top of a burning building. Believe it or not, I know a fireman who had anxiety as well – as he once stood on the top of an actual burning building in flames. When he and his buddy felt their shoes getting warm, they decided it was time to descend from the building. Suddenly his co-worker took a misstep and fell off the roof to the ground below. “Oh my God, please save me. I don’t want to die,” the fireman on the roof screamed. As he frantically searched through the thick smoke to find the rope to lead him to the ladder, he could feel a hand leading to it for his descent. Believing the fireman who had just saved him was on the rungs below, he thanked him for leading him from the roof. But the other fireman said, “That wasn’t me, I was on my way up the ladder to help you guys.“ Franklin Delano Roosevelt once said, “The only thing you have to fear is fear itself.” It might not be a bad idea for all of us to look out for the hand of God!
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Little Miracles
“Look down a microscope and notice how a drop of water can be more brilliant than a diamond...Do not underestimate small things.” This advice from Vietnamese Cardinal Francis Xavier Nyugen Van Thuan greeted me on my messages this morning. Well, a miraculous thing somewhat like this happened to me a few years back, when I visited my sister-in-law in Florida. My husband Bob and I were alone in the house, sitting in her screened porch, when an elderly neighbor began frantically knocking on the screen door. Within minutes, we realized he didn’t speak a word of English, and he just kept pointing toward the roof as he was anxiously speaking.
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I happened to be talking to a friend in Costa Rica on my I-pad when the man had appeared. Not being able to understand anything he was saying, it suddenly dawned on me that the friend I was talking to could speak to the visitor at the door in fluent Spanish. Within minutes, our instant I-pad interpreter was able to determine that the man was worried that there was no electricity, being unaware the Electric Company had a shut off to repair some lines. The funny thing was, I don’t think this man had ever seen Skype or FaceTime and seemed astounded that he was talking to my friend on the handheld I-pad screen. After he left, Bob and I laughed, wondering what might be the odds that something like this could happen again. “A miracle is when the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. A miracle is when one plus one equals a thousand,” said Frederick Buechner. And if you don’t believe me, think about the beautiful sunrise and sunset each day, the birth of a child that comes into the world, or think about how your heart beats throughout your lifetime. God provides us with miracles everywhere. The author Jandy Nelson once wrote, “You have to see miracles for there to be miracles.” It can start by just noticing some of the small things first. I wonder what miracle I might experience today?
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The Good Shepherd
Viewing God as a good Shepherd is one of the most important images of God in the Bible. He is portrayed as our protector, just as a shepherd protects his flock of sheep. Having been brought up in the city, I didn’t realize how unfamiliar I was with so many aspects of country living until we bought a house with two acres of land. But we now found ourselves surrounded by neighbors on either side who tended large gardens and cared for a variety of animals like horses, guinea hens, chickens, and even prize goats with papers. One afternoon, as we pulled into our long driveway, I noticed a small animal at the edge of our property. As I began to walk towards it, my husband yelled out to me, “Gerrie, don’t go near it. Leave it alone!” Being a curious soul, I couldn’t resist going closer. Within minutes I was yelling to Bob, “Help, help!”, as a sheep was chasing me around a tree, nipping at my heels. That type of thing usually happens in my life, when I don’t listen to the wise words of others – or to the words of God. When I do this, I have no other option than to learn through my own mistakes. But as I considered how the sheep must have felt, I realized he must have been scared to have a strange person come near. He did the only thing he knew how to do, to nip at my heels. This is very similar to how I am, when I’m in a precarious position as well. I find myself calling out for help as I deal with the stress I am confronting, doing anything to make it go away. Thank goodness Bob was there to come to my rescue. This made me realize how I often have to call on God to come to my rescue as well. It is comforting to know that God is our Shepherd and we are His sheep. Our Shepherd sends us help whenever we call on Him (though maybe not quite like when it’s your husband who says, “I told you so.”) In Psalm 23 it says, “The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want... I will fear no evil: for you are with me.” Thank goodness!
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(photo: U.S. Army)
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Unfurling the Flag
I wonder if others are like me in tending to take veterans for granted, except on days like Memorial Day or Veterans Day. That goes for other people too, like firefighters, police and health care workers, who do so much to keep our society healthy and safe. Since COVID-19, many other essential workers and even grocery clerks have been recognized, thankfully, for their service to others. As I watched Mass on TV one day, I noticed that around the altar, a circle of flags representing each branch of the Armed Forces stood in their stands, almost as if they were at standing at attention around the altar of God. It dawned on me then that we cannot truly see what each flag looks like or what is written on them unless the flags are unfurled, either by a person or by a gust of wind. It’s sort of like this with people. Each of us is made for a greater glory, but we can’t see it until we are unfurled: by another person, certain circumstances, or maybe just a gust of wind – otherwise known as God. Only then can we truly be seen in all our glory. Please Lord, help me to unfurl the goodness of others. Help me to look for that goodness that lies in each of them, waiting to be unfurled. And please send someone to unravel me.
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A New Day
As I woke up today, I felt like I was breaking out of a shell, just like a baby chick. My surroundings all looked the same, but everything would be different because it was a new day, after all. I remembered when I saw the Dalai Lama speak at a local University many years ago. It was a cold, blustery day, under the tent by the ocean cliffs. As I sat all bundled in my scarf, gloves and winter coat, suddenly this man appeared dressed only in a sort of sarong, with a piece of cloth draped over one shoulder. He was the happiest person I’d ever seen, grinning from ear to ear, bouncing from one person to the next, hugging them as he walked down the aisle. I initially thought he might be hugging them because it was so darned cold out! But then he got on stage and began to explain his excitement for being with these young university students. Evidently, when he was a child living in his Tibetan palace, his teacher, a man of great wisdom, told him a story about an old tree. He said we’re all like an old tree that tends to look backwards in our life, to when we were young and things seemed so much better. As he looked around the tent, he explained his joy at seeing so many young people. The teacher had said to him that young people were like new buds on the old tree. When they blossomed, they would only know the world as it was when they entered it. Therefore, every young person had the capacity to bring hope into the world. Today is a new day that God has given us. The big question is, “Am I going to look back at the way it was, or be young at heart and live my day with hope and joy?” I guess I still have time to decide. I’m still climbing out of my daily shell, after all, and I haven’t even had my cup of tea.
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